Careless Caress

It’s become apparent to me that relationships of a romantic nature, or the lacking of in people’s lives are topics that arise far too often. If it’s not water cooler talk about the latest fling, it’s a song on the radio, a plot in a film or the reason behind the birth of a book (TWILIGHT). For a subject that is so unavoidable, so nauseating in its repetition – you’d think society would’ve tired of love and its failings by now.

If it’s  not me talking about my love life, it’s someone else returning the (not-so) favour. It’s a game of show and tell – in exchange for feigning interest in the love and lust lives of others, the unspoken law is they must do the same in return. Neither party particularly cares about the matters at hand in most cases; talking to yourself in the mirror whilst nodding emphatically would bring about the same desired result. Society is naturally inclined to remind us constantly how important having someone romantically linked to us is – and this is why the subject, whether wanted or unwanted, is an unfortunate constant in our daily lives.

It’s a case of ‘I want what she’s having’. I believe we force ourselves to believe the pursuit of love is more important to make a reality than need be. Unfortunately, love is not a real-life romance novel – we do not all have ‘The One’ out there for us, and there is no happily ever after. These are just some of the absurd and unrealistic ideations we not only impose on ourselves, but on others by either sugar-coating their not-so-hot relationship, or shitting all over it in the hope they snap out of the love-lull that deceives them.

Short, but sweet. That’s how it should be next time you decide to discuss your relationship with someone. What’s important to you will undoubtedly be the opposite for anyone NOT having sex with you. I feel we have so many other more interesting things to discuss about the world other than how annoying it is when your boyfriend forgets to call you for the umpteenth time for no essential reason other than to remind you that you exist to him. Although being IN a relationship is usually pleasant and removes the single woes, it brings with it a whole avalanche of new issues, concerns and unnecessary paranoia about the future.

‘When will I find someone?’ becomes ‘When will I lose this someone – and will I cope?’ I wonder, after more failed relationships in the coming years, if the fear of losing what I have will subside, and I will come to accept that it’s best just to enjoy the time you have with the person and part ways amicably. All too often you see nasty breakups that could have been avoided if both parties just accepted that the relationship was no longer meant to be. Once you reach a point where you feel like you need to WORK to save a relationship – you have passed the point of no return. It’s wise to reside yourself to the reality of the situation; what once was is no more and that is just the way it is.

Stand outside of yourself and evaluate your situation instead of relying on others who couldn’t care less to do it for you. You know that one friend who has been there through thick and thin and has been the final say on every relationship you’ve had thus far? She’s secretly a lesbian and wants to get with you, and will say and do anything to ensure you’re alone.

Trust only yourself when it comes to matters of the heart.